Antidepressants Blog » Men’s Health-Erectile Dysfunction

LOVING AND BEING LOVED

admin — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 14:04:10 +0000

WHEN William James wrote his classic Principles of Psychology in 1890, he devoted only two pages to “love.” While noting the connection- between love and “sexual impulses,” James observed, “These details are a little unpleasant to discuss.” D. H. Lawrence, the English novelist, was much less timid in dealing with this topic. In Lady Chatterley’s Lover (1926), he suggested that love depends on being uninhibited in all respects, as illustrated in this bit of dialogue between Lady Chatterley and Mellors, her lover:

“But what do you believe in,” she insisted. “I don’t know.”

“Nothing, like all the men I’ve ever known,” she said.

They were both silent. Then he roused himself and said: “Yes, I do believe in something. I believe in being warm-hearted. I believe especially in being warm-hearted in love, in fucking with a warm heart. I believe if men could fuck with warm hearts, and the women take it warmheartedly everything would come out all right. It’s all this cold-hearted fucking that is death and idiocy.”

Until very recently, the topic of love was more in the province of writers, poets, and philosophers than in the minds of psychologists and scientists. Even though it has been said that “love makes the world go round,” few sexologists (including ourselves) have addressed this subject in any detail. Nevertheless, we have all felt love in one way or another. Many of us have dreamed of it, struggled with it, or basked in its radiant pleasures. It is also safe to say that most of us have been confused by it too.

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URETHRITIS AND CERVICITIS – MANAGEMENT

admin — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 10:55:54 +0000

Whether patients are treated for one or other of these infections or for both will depend on an assessment of the clinical features, laboratory investigations and local disease patterns. Many venereologists recommend that patients with gonorrhoea also be treated for chlamydia.

Sexual partners of patients with gonorrhoea or NGU or NGC should be investigated and treated on epidemiological grounds. Women with silent infection may develop pelvic inflammatory disease. Asymptomatic male partners may develop prostatitis or epididymitis. Failed treatment or recurrence may be due to reinfection by an infected partner.
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URETHRITIS AND CERVICITIS – INVESTIGATION

admin — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 10:46:32 +0000

The diagnosis of genital infection is based on the history and an assessment of clinical findings and laboratory investigations. Laboratory investigations are directed at:

the confirmation of the existence of urethritis or cervicitis; and

the identification of the causative organism or organisms.

The criteria for the diagnosis of urethritis and cervicitis are provided on p.8. Semen and other normal secretions may be mistaken for pathological discharge if microscopy is not performed.
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THE HARMONIOUS COUPLE – SEXUAL HARMONY (ESSENCE OF GOOD SEXUALITY)

admin — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 11:37:04 +0000

To be in sexual harmony is to affirm life and negate death. This is the essence of good sexuality, and it takes us back to the dual concept that I introduced at the beginning of this book: Eros and Thanatos. Each time a couple can break through the resistances to effective bonding, they have scored a victory over death. The act itself is a victory, for it affirms their own vitality, arouses their emotions, senses, and intellect, and clears up perceptual confusions. When we are having loving sex, life suddenly takes on a more optimistic meaning and we become more loving and accepting of ourselves and of humanity in general. Our characterological rigidity (a kind of death itself) recedes: We are less obsessive, less impulsive, less hysterical, less critical, less demanding, less opinionated, less argumentative, and generally less intolerant, even—and this is most important—of our enemies.

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GAMES FOR ABSTINENT COUPLES – GAME 5: MYSTERY LOVER (PART 5)

admin — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 11:31:30 +0000

The moment of truth comes on a particularly appropriate evening. The husband sets the stage while the wife is gone. When she comes home she finds the lights dimmed, her favorite music playing, and a dining table covered with a white tablecloth, with candles, wine, and roses beautifully displayed. Maybe there is a special gift—a bracelet, ring, or necklace. There’s also an envelope on her plate that says “To My Dear Lady.”

“What’s all this?” she asks. “Read the note,” he replies.

She opens the envelope and reads the card in which he confesses the game—and the drama reaches its resolution.

This game has never failed to elicit a response of tenderness, even from the most uninterested spouse. It can, of course, be played by most of the other types of couples described in this book. I have saved it for last because it is the most surefire game in the book—the one to try when all others fail.

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GAMES FOR POLITICALLY OR MORALLY CORRECT COUPLES – GAME 1: POLITICALLY CORRECT SEX (PART 4)

admin — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 11:25:23 +0000

“Excuse me. I got a little excited. Sorry about that. I lost control of myself for a moment and started spearing you. Did you feel raped just then?”

“No, I didn’t feel raped.”

“I shouldn’t spear, though. I really shouldn’t. I’ll try to slow down.” “Just do it!”

“But isn’t it rude to stick my penis inside you like this? I’m sorry to invade your space like this.” “I want you to.” “You don’t feel assaulted?” “Shut up!”

“You don’t feel you’re giving in to a male oppressor? You don’t feel degraded?”

“Would you stop with the male oppressor stuff?”

“I just want to be politically correct.”

“What are you doing? Why are you saying these things? You’re mocking me!”

“I just want to make sure everything’s politically correct.”

“Stop it!”

“But I . . .”

“Stop it, I said, and fuck me!”

Obviously this game involves a kind of teasing by the husband—so it could go awry at any moment. If the wife becomes upset, the husband should drop it and attempt instead to discuss what has happened and what kind of feelings the game has aroused. On the other hand, the wife might find herself becoming both annoyed and passionate at the same time (as in the dialogue above). Her fears of losing control to a man, which she had been warding off through her demands that the sex be politically correct, are now assuaged and made to feel absurd by his ultracautious approach. She suddenly gets in touch with the most primitive well of her sexuality, like the heroines in books like Lady Chatterley’s Lover (by D. H. Lawrence) and movies like Swept Away (by Lina Wertmtiller). Down deep she wants to be swept away by passion, as all humans do—but she also fears it. This game helps her to become aware both of that fear and of how it usually is politicized.

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GAMES FOR ANGRY COUPLES – GAME 4: BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (PART 2)

admin — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 11:19:50 +0000

“Who are you?” she asks in a frightened tone.

“You can call me Mr. B,” the husband growls. He may wear some kind of costume or mask, or he may just use his own sourest expression and most menacing posture. “Come with me.”

“Why?”

“Because I made a deal with your father. I paid him a thousand dollars, and now you must be my wife.” “I will not be your wife. You are a beast.” “I said come!”

He “drags” her to the cabin. Once inside it, he asks her to take off all her clothes, and he removes his. He makes himself look as hideous as possible, playing up all the very features that his wife has generally criticized. For instance, if the wife has told him in the past that his belly is big and grotesque, he now protrudes it even more. If she has complained that he is too hairy, he is now twice as hairy (perhaps sporting a beard).

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GAMES FOR IMPULSIVE COUPLES – GAME 5: ONE-NIGHT STAND (PART 4)

admin — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 11:07:11 +0000

He: “I’m a ladies’ underwear salesman. Which reminds me: What’s your name—if I may be so bold?” She: “Kitty.” He: “Kitty what?” She: “Just Kitty.”

He: “Oh, I see—the mysterious type. And what do you do, Kitty?”

She: “Well, you promise you won’t laugh? I’m a stripper. I work in the Hellcat Lounge.” He: “So this is called kissing?” She: “I think that’s what it’s called.”

They continue to stay in character throughout the night, making love in both old and new ways. The test will come in the morning. Each may want to run, but instead they must stay in bed and spend an hour or so talking about the experience—how it made them feel to play out their roles, and what they did not say to each other last night. During this part of the game, each partner becomes the other’s disciplinarian, preventing the other from running. The subsequent review will beneficially transform their sexuality.

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TESTING: NEW TECHNIQUES TO DETECT TRICHOMONAS

admin — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 11:15:27 +0000

New techniques to detect trichomonas are being studied; they employ the polymerase chain reaction test, which looks for the genetic material of the protozoa. Blood tests designed to detect the body’s immune response to the infection are also under study These newer tests are not yet used routinely in clinical practice.

Trichomoniasis is harder to diagnose in men than in women. Cultures can be taken from the urethra in men to make the diagnosis, although this approach often does not reveal trichomonas, even in men who have the infection. The only evidence may be white blood cells from a urethral swab test seen under the microscope on nongonococcal urethritis). Trichomonas infection is estimated to cause between 2 and 5 percent of cases of nongonococcal urethritis in men in the United States. Men most often seek treatment for trichomonas because their partners have been diagnosed with trichomoniasis rather than as a result of symptoms they have noticed in themselves.

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HIV VIRUS: WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS?

admin — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 10:59:26 +0000

Most people who are infected with HIV have no symptoms: they feel fine, they look fine, and they would not know they were infected unless they were tested. However, between 30 and 70 percent of newly infected people develop a flu-like illness within two to six weeks of becoming infected. Symptoms usually last one or two weeks and include a sore throat, fever, night sweats, lymph node swelling throughout the body, muscle aches, and a diffuse flat, red rash over the entire body. The symptoms resolve on their own.

It is during this time that most people develop antibodies to the infection, a process called seroconversion. Antibodies are proteins that the immune system makes in response to infections. It is also at this time that people have a large amount of the virus circulating in their systems, and there can also be a temporary drop in the number of circulating CD4 cells (the specific type of cell of the immune system that the virus infects), owing to direct damage by the virus. Because these symptoms are so vague, those experiencing them may seek no medical care at this time. If they do seek medical care, they may be diagnosed with HIV infection or misdiagnosed with one of the many other viral infections that can cause similar symptoms. Again, not everyone has these symptoms, and, certainly, not every cold or flu signals HIV infection. Soon after initial infection the body begins to succeed in keeping the virus in check, and a person remains symptom free, on average, for ten years. During this time, it is not uncommon for infected people to notice lymph node enlargement throughout the body. Lymph nodes, which are found in many locations in the body, may swell as a result of infections and malignancies, both of which stimulate the immune system. Because HIV infection involves constant stimulation of the immune system, the nodes are often swollen, even early in an infection. Indeed this may be the only symptom of HIV infection at this time.

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