Archive for the 'Men’s Health-Erectile Dysfunction' Category
To be in sexual harmony is to affirm life and negate death. This is the essence of good sexuality, and it takes us back to the dual concept that I introduced at the beginning of this book: Eros and Thanatos. Each time a couple can break through the resistances to effective bonding, they have scored a victory over death. The act itself is a victory, for it affirms their own vitality, arouses their emotions, senses, and intellect, and clears up perceptual confusions. When we are having loving sex, life suddenly takes on a more optimistic meaning and we become more loving and accepting of ourselves and of humanity in general. Our characterological rigidity (a kind of death itself) recedes: We are less obsessive, less impulsive, less hysterical, less critical, less demanding, less opinionated, less argumentative, and generally less intolerant, even—and this is most important—of our enemies.
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The moment of truth comes on a particularly appropriate evening. The husband sets the stage while the wife is gone. When she comes home she finds the lights dimmed, her favorite music playing, and a dining table covered with a white tablecloth, with candles, wine, and roses beautifully displayed. Maybe there is a special gift—a bracelet, ring, or necklace. There’s also an envelope on her plate that says “To My Dear Lady.”
“What’s all this?” she asks. “Read the note,” he replies.
This game has never failed to elicit a response of tenderness, even from the most uninterested spouse. It can, of course, be played by most of the other types of couples described in this book. I have saved it for last because it is the most surefire game in the book—the one to try when all others fail.
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“Excuse me. I got a little excited. Sorry about that. I lost control of myself for a moment and started spearing you. Did you feel raped just then?”
“No, I didn’t feel raped.”
“I shouldn’t spear, though. I really shouldn’t. I’ll try to slow down.” “Just do it!”
“But isn’t it rude to stick my penis inside you like this? I’m sorry to invade your space like this.” “I want you to.” “You don’t feel assaulted?” “Shut up!”
“You don’t feel you’re giving in to a male oppressor? You don’t feel degraded?”
“Would you stop with the male oppressor stuff?”
“I just want to be politically correct.”
“What are you doing? Why are you saying these things? You’re mocking me!”
“I just want to make sure everything’s politically correct.”
“Stop it!”
“But I . . .”
“Stop it, I said, and fuck me!”
Obviously this game involves a kind of teasing by the husband—so it could go awry at any moment. If the wife becomes upset, the husband should drop it and attempt instead to discuss what has happened and what kind of feelings the game has aroused. On the other hand, the wife might find herself becoming both annoyed and passionate at the same time (as in the dialogue above). Her fears of losing control to a man, which she had been warding off through her demands that the sex be politically correct, are now assuaged and made to feel absurd by his ultracautious approach. She suddenly gets in touch with the most primitive well of her sexuality, like the heroines in books like Lady Chatterley’s Lover (by D. H. Lawrence) and movies like Swept Away (by Lina Wertmtiller). Down deep she wants to be swept away by passion, as all humans do—but she also fears it. This game helps her to become aware both of that fear and of how it usually is politicized.
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“Who are you?” she asks in a frightened tone.
“You can call me Mr. B,” the husband growls. He may wear some kind of costume or mask, or he may just use his own sourest expression and most menacing posture. “Come with me.”
“Because I made a deal with your father. I paid him a thousand dollars, and now you must be my wife.” “I will not be your wife. You are a beast.” “I said come!”
He “drags” her to the cabin. Once inside it, he asks her to take off all her clothes, and he removes his. He makes himself look as hideous as possible, playing up all the very features that his wife has generally criticized. For instance, if the wife has told him in the past that his belly is big and grotesque, he now protrudes it even more. If she has complained that he is too hairy, he is now twice as hairy (perhaps sporting a beard).
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He: “I’m a ladies’ underwear salesman. Which reminds me: What’s your name—if I may be so bold?” She: “Kitty.” He: “Kitty what?” She: “Just Kitty.”
He: “Oh, I see—the mysterious type. And what do you do, Kitty?”
She: “Well, you promise you won’t laugh? I’m a stripper. I work in the Hellcat Lounge.” He: “So this is called kissing?” She: “I think that’s what it’s called.”
They continue to stay in character throughout the night, making love in both old and new ways. The test will come in the morning. Each may want to run, but instead they must stay in bed and spend an hour or so talking about the experience—how it made them feel to play out their roles, and what they did not say to each other last night. During this part of the game, each partner becomes the other’s disciplinarian, preventing the other from running. The subsequent review will beneficially transform their sexuality.
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TESTING: NEW TECHNIQUES TO DETECT TRICHOMONAS
Author: admin
New techniques to detect trichomonas are being studied; they employ the polymerase chain reaction test, which looks for the genetic material of the protozoa. Blood tests designed to detect the body’s immune response to the infection are also under study These newer tests are not yet used routinely in clinical practice.
Trichomoniasis is harder to diagnose in men than in women. Cultures can be taken from the urethra in men to make the diagnosis, although this approach often does not reveal trichomonas, even in men who have the infection. The only evidence may be white blood cells from a urethral swab test seen under the microscope on nongonococcal urethritis). Trichomonas infection is estimated to cause between 2 and 5 percent of cases of nongonococcal urethritis in men in the United States. Men most often seek treatment for trichomonas because their partners have been diagnosed with trichomoniasis rather than as a result of symptoms they have noticed in themselves.
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HIV VIRUS: WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS?
Author: admin
Most people who are infected with HIV have no symptoms: they feel fine, they look fine, and they would not know they were infected unless they were tested. However, between 30 and 70 percent of newly infected people develop a flu-like illness within two to six weeks of becoming infected. Symptoms usually last one or two weeks and include a sore throat, fever, night sweats, lymph node swelling throughout the body, muscle aches, and a diffuse flat, red rash over the entire body. The symptoms resolve on their own.
It is during this time that most people develop antibodies to the infection, a process called seroconversion. Antibodies are proteins that the immune system makes in response to infections. It is also at this time that people have a large amount of the virus circulating in their systems, and there can also be a temporary drop in the number of circulating CD4 cells (the specific type of cell of the immune system that the virus infects), owing to direct damage by the virus. Because these symptoms are so vague, those experiencing them may seek no medical care at this time. If they do seek medical care, they may be diagnosed with HIV infection or misdiagnosed with one of the many other viral infections that can cause similar symptoms. Again, not everyone has these symptoms, and, certainly, not every cold or flu signals HIV infection. Soon after initial infection the body begins to succeed in keeping the virus in check, and a person remains symptom free, on average, for ten years. During this time, it is not uncommon for infected people to notice lymph node enlargement throughout the body. Lymph nodes, which are found in many locations in the body, may swell as a result of infections and malignancies, both of which stimulate the immune system. Because HIV infection involves constant stimulation of the immune system, the nodes are often swollen, even early in an infection. Indeed this may be the only symptom of HIV infection at this time.
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Pap smear results are reported in four ways, known as the class system, the CIN (cervical intraepithelial neoplasia) system, the descriptive system, and the Bethesda system. Which system is used depends on the laboratory to which the specimen was sent. The results are reported as follows:
1. Class I
CIN system: normal
Descriptive system: no abnormal cells seen, or negative
Bethesda system: within normal limits
A follow-up Pap smear is recommended in one year.
2. Class II
CIN system: normal, with a description given of any findings that may be unusual
Descriptive system: atypical cells, as seen with cervicitis and other infections
Bethesda system: infection, reactive or reparative changes seen, or atypical cells of unknown significance (ASCUS)
Although this is still a “negative” Pap smear in terms of cancer screening, either infection or “atypical” cells may be seen, and these may or may not be precancerous. Any infection must be identified and treated and a follow-up Pap smear performed, usually in three to six months. If no infection is present, another Pap smear in three to six months is still indicated. In addition to infection, some other causes of these changes may include atrophy (thinning) of the tissues as seen postmenopause and the presence of an intrauterine device. If the abnormalities persist or progress on the follow-up smear, then a colposcopic examination of the cervix is in order.
3. Class III
CIN system: CIN I-III
Descriptive system: dysplasia (mild to severe)
Bethesda system: squamous intraepithelial lesion (low- to high-grade squamous intraepithelial lesion [SIL])
This category encompasses a wide range of possible Pap smear results. In general, the lower the grade or number, the lower the need for concern, although close follow-up is recommended for all women whose Pap results fall into this category. About two-thirds of the lower-grade lesions resolve without treatment.
For the lower-grade lesions (CIN I, mild dysplasia, or low-grade SIL), a follow-up Pap smear should be performed in three to six months, or a colposcopy could be done at the start. If a total of three follow-up Pap smears at six-month intervals come back as normal, then a schedule of yearly Pap smears can be resumed. A colposcopy and a biopsy of suspicious lesions are recommended if the changes do not resolve on their own or if the changes progress to a higher-grade lesion.
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For men or women performing oral-genital sex on a female partner or oral-anal sex on any partner, latex barriers will offer the most protection against transmission of sexually transmitted infections. One type of latex barrier used for this purpose is the dental dam, which is a small (six-inch) square of latex commonly used in dentists’ offices to prevent splattering of oral secretions into the dentist’s face during procedures. Many people also use them for protection during oral sex by placing the dam over the female partner’s genitals or the female or male partner’s anal area before beginning oral sex. They come in different flavors, which can make using them more fun. You may want to wash off the dam before use, since sometimes there is a dusting of powder on it, to which some people may have an allergic reaction. In addition, it’s a good idea to put a dab of water-based lubricant on the side that comes into contact with the partner’s genital or anal area, since this enhances the pleasure. Dental dams tend to be thicker than condoms or gloves and therefore may offer less sensory pleasure. Dental dams are available from stores that sell dental supplies or stores or mail-order businesses that sell sex toys.
Another option for oral-female genital or oral-anal sex is cutting open a condom or a latex glove and using it in the same way. Again, since spermicide tastes bad to many people, unlubricated condoms are a better choice for this method than lubricated ones. Condoms can be purchased in most pharmacies and grocery stores, and latex gloves are also available in most pharmacies.
There are plastic options as well. Plastic may offer better sensory stimulation, since it is thinner than latex yet it probably provides the same degree of protection. It is a good option for those who have a sensitivity to latex. The newer plastic condoms can be split down the middle and placed over a partner’s genitals or anal area to permit the performance of safer oral sex. Another alternative is household plastic wrap. Although there aren’t any scientific studies to show that plastic wrap offers good protection, it is better than no protection, and it offers the option of using as big a piece as you need. You may want to use more than one layer of plastic wrap for extra protection. Plastic barriers can be used with water- or oil-based lubricants, and putting a small amount on the side that touches your partner can enhance his or her pleasure.
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WHAT TO EXPECT DURING AN STD EXAMINATION
Author: admin
Seeking advice about a problem related to sexuality can be difficult. Because of this, many people with sexual health concerns never seek help for their problems. Others go to their health care providers, but once they get there they are too embarrassed to mention what is really worrying them. Some people who do try to get proper care find that their health care provider is also embarrassed or doesn’t have expertise in issues related to sexual health, so they don’t get the attention, understanding, or treatment that they need. Finally, there are those who never have themselves tested because they are afraid of what the results might be.
There are many good reasons to overcome embarrassment and fear and seek medical advice if you suspect that you may have a sexually transmitted disease. Someone who is infected but doesn’t know it, for example, can still infect his or her sexual partners, and pregnant women who are infected with certain STDs may pass the infections to their babies during the pregnancy or at delivery. There are infections of the reproductive tract that can cause infertility in both men and women if they are not detected and treated in time. Some STDs can cause cancer or death. Many infections are curable, however, so early detection and treatment are essential for your long-term health.
If you are convinced of the importance of early detection of sexually transmitted infection, and if you are committed to being vigilant about your sexual health, what should you do? You may decide that you want to be tested on a regular basis, say every six months to a year, especially if you are sexually active and not in a steady, monogamous relationship. People who are in steady, monogamous relationships may want to be tested before they become intimate. You may want to make STD screening part of your annual physical examination. These are all good ideas, and so is getting tested after any unprotected sexual contact with a partner whose status for infection is unknown.
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