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SEXUALITY, ILLNESS AND HEALTH: SEX AND CELL DISEASE (CANCER)
I don’t think he will ever want to touch me again. I feel like ruined property, damaged merchandise. I don’t think I would want to touch me, to touch that thick, ugly scar where my soft breast used to be.
WIFE BEFORE COUNSELING
I love her. In some ways, I love her more now than ever. But I just can’t bring myself to look at that part where her breast was.
HUSBAND BEFORE COUNSELING
It has come to be a symbol of sorts, I guess. He kisses me there and touches me there. It just doesn’t seem as much a thing as it would seem. In fact, it means something special. We hate it in some ways, but it symbolizes us and our survival. It stands for our victory.
WIFE AFTER COUNSELING
When we make love, I don’t try not to look at it or touch it and I don’t try to touch it or look at. I don’t try anything about it. But it’s not hers, it’s not like an “it,” really, but the whole thing is us, a part of us. That was the biggest change, I think, when I stopped trying to adjust to “it” and she stopped waiting for me to or help me to adjust. It’s that “holistic” thing, I guess.
HUSBAND AFTER COUNSELING
If we can have lung disease, heart disease, and other organ diseases, then we should refer to “cell” disease instead of the general and frightening term “cancer.” I have never heard anyone refer to the “heart disease of crime,” yet one recent commentator reported that “crime is the cancer of our country.” Cells overgrow every day. They overgrow because so many cells multiply and divide in our body that some are bound to “go bad.” They overgrow because of the toxicity of our world, our food, our style of living. Since cells are the building blocks of our body, cell disease can occur anywhere, and therefore there are many “types” of cell disease (actually locations). I discuss here some of the problems that came up in the couples group.
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