Archive for May 18th, 2009
I don’t think he will ever want to touch me again. I feel like ruined property, damaged merchandise. I don’t think I would want to touch me, to touch that thick, ugly scar where my soft breast used to be.
WIFE BEFORE COUNSELING
I love her. In some ways, I love her more now than ever. But I just can’t bring myself to look at that part where her breast was.
HUSBAND BEFORE COUNSELING
It has come to be a symbol of sorts, I guess. He kisses me there and touches me there. It just doesn’t seem as much a thing as it would seem. In fact, it means something special. We hate it in some ways, but it symbolizes us and our survival. It stands for our victory.
WIFE AFTER COUNSELING
When we make love, I don’t try not to look at it or touch it and I don’t try to touch it or look at. I don’t try anything about it. But it’s not hers, it’s not like an “it,” really, but the whole thing is us, a part of us. That was the biggest change, I think, when I stopped trying to adjust to “it” and she stopped waiting for me to or help me to adjust. It’s that “holistic” thing, I guess.
HUSBAND AFTER COUNSELING
If we can have lung disease, heart disease, and other organ diseases, then we should refer to “cell” disease instead of the general and frightening term “cancer.” I have never heard anyone refer to the “heart disease of crime,” yet one recent commentator reported that “crime is the cancer of our country.” Cells overgrow every day. They overgrow because so many cells multiply and divide in our body that some are bound to “go bad.” They overgrow because of the toxicity of our world, our food, our style of living. Since cells are the building blocks of our body, cell disease can occur anywhere, and therefore there are many “types” of cell disease (actually locations). I discuss here some of the problems that came up in the couples group.
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The Kinsey’s sexual-response model was based on three phases: buildup, orgasm, and aftereffects of orgasm. Rhythmic muscular contractions accompanied orgasms in the Kinsey view, and this was the same for both sexes. Kinsey focused less on the male penis than did Ellis, describing more general stimulation to both the male and female as characteristic of human sexual interaction.
The female was described as less sexually responsive than the male, but by this Kinsey meant that her frequency of orgasms was less. Men reported more than 1,500 orgasms before marriage, women reported approximately 250. There was no category for “almosts” and “super.” Kinsey described the female as more physically responsive, requiring touch and direct contact for arousal and orgasm. Males were more psychologically responsive, reacting to images, pictures, and objects.
It was implied that marriage was a “convenient state,” providing a ready opportunity for sexual outlet. The more than 11,200 two-hour interviews yielded statistics that came to be prescriptive. Ninety-five percent of men had some sexual experience before age fifteen; men reported having 4 orgasms per week; 70 percent of men reported contact with a prostitute; 50 percent of men reported having sex outside their marriage before age forty; 30 percent of unmarried women reported not being virgins at age twenty-three; women reported 233 orgasms before marriage, with a significant decline in orgasmic frequency after marriage; 25 percent of girls reported having some sexual experience before age twelve, and 52 percent of these experiences were with a stranger. A lot of people were doing a lot of things sexually, and an unintended invitation to join a category was issued.
If Ellis focused on what was “normal,” Kinsey examined what he considered “natural.” If mammals could to it, it was natural, and Kinsey attempted to avoid the confrontation of what was right or wrong in favor of describing what “was.” The only unnatural sex act was one that could not be done. Several response came from the individual, not from within a relationship.
Kinsey saw nothing particularly special about our humanness. He wrote, “The elements that are involved in sexual contacts between the human and animals of other species are at no point basically different from those that are involved in erotic responses to human situations.” In fact, Kinsey felt that it was our arrogance about being human, our attempt to distance ourselves from our mammalian ancestors, that caused us to take sex out if its’ ‘natural” context.
The Kinsey perspective, then, saw orgasm as essentially pelvic muscle contraction in both genders, but women tended to be less responsive and slower to respond than men. There were several categories of sex from which to choose. Marriage saved time in searching for outlets, but women tended to diminish in sexual responsiveness once married and men tended to seek out variety, were by nature sexually promiscuous. Love was not a category or a factor, it was not something that could, even should, be studied if it existed at all. “Tell me what you did, not how you felt” was the second-perspective question.
The emphasis on energy buildup and discharge, on doing it instead of experiencing it, and an implied drive for variety of the first two perspectives interfere with the super marital sex mat stresses flow instead of discharge, an intimate comfort, not variety.
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SEXUALLY RELATED DISEASES – CONCLUSION
Author: admin
It is important to remember that if a person is sexually active then he or she can get venereal disease. It doesn’t matter how clean or how well brought up you may be, it is not confined to any one socio-economic group.
If you think you might have acquired one of these infections, then immediately seek professional help. You may see your local doctor, the Out-patient clinic of a public hospital, or one of the Government clinics set up to deal with VD.
There is no need to be frightened that someone will come to call on you or hound your sexual contacts if you seek treatment. Naturally you will be urged to let your partners know if it is shown you have VD, but that is only acting responsibly.
Remember that most venereal diseases can now be quickly and completely cured.
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